Toddlerlife #3

I've realised that I've not posted a #toddlerlife post since November, and my nephew has certainly said A LOT since then. The majority of my conversations with him are either via phone or FaceTime as I live three hours away. 

*Gets in bath with Grandad and wees*

Grandad - Oi, it's a bath not a piss pot

KP - PISS POT. PISS POT. PISS POT.

Me - What you doing?

KP - Food for my mouth.

Mum - Quick Kaine, I need a wee KP - Get your gary out and go in the bushes, Nanny. *Gary is what he calls his widge
KP - My not leaving Sarah, my looking after her.

KP - My making you something

Me - What're you making?

KP - Butter.

KP - My not go to Scotland again, it shut.
Me - Guess what I had last night? Salted caramel cheesecake KP - Aww my love that Me - You've never had it KP - So?
KP - Why you naked? Me - I'm not, I'm wearing a towel KP - Why you naked?

Me - Love you, bud. Bye

KP - Love you, bye

Me - Bye monkey KP - Bye monkey

KP - Hello, my naked

Me - Why're you naked?

KP - Putting my jarmies on. You naked? Me - No mate.

KP - You cut your beard?

Ian - Yes

KP - You cut your hair?

Ian - No, don't you like my hair?

KP - No, get the hairdressers

KP - Ian, what you doing? Ian - The washing KP - What for?

Ian - It needs washing

KP - You dirty?

Ian - No, the clothes are

KP - Tell her I'll speak in one sec

Me - Has it been one sec yet?

KP - No, one big sec.

KP - You got me a present?

Me - No, would you like a present?

KP - No thanks.

Me - Can I have a biscuit please?

KP - No

Me - Why?

KP - It's only for big boys and you is too little.

KP - My ring you on my own

Me - Did you? You're so clever, what's my phone number?

KP - 4.

KP - What you doing?

Me - Just sat in bed

KP - You get up right now.

Mum - I love you very much, Kaine KP - I love you very carefully, Nan.
KP - Sarah, you got your tattoo on? Me - Yes, I have them all on, bud.
KP - Me making a coffee and reading my letter Me - Ah, two things you can't do KP - My can, my Spider-Man.
KP - Sarah, me having a wee on my potty. You watch it.

KP - Sarah, you got a gary?

Me - No

KP - Ian got a gary? Me - Yes KP - Why you not got a gary? Me - Because I'm a girl KP - Girl's not have gary's? Mum - Girls have flowers Me - Oh, bloody hell.

KP - What's that?

Me - My purse

KP - My have some money please?

Me - *gives him 20p*

KP - My need more for my mates

KP - My going to drive a monster truck and you go in the boot

Me - You can't drive

KP - My can drive actually

KP - What's that?

Me - A Toblerone

KP - Aww my love bo-bub-bone.

He's the absolute best and always makes me smile.