Saturday, 28 May 2016

Toddlerlife #3

I've realised that I've not posted a #toddlerlife post since November, and my nephew has certainly said A LOT since then. The majority of my conversations with him are either via phone or FaceTime as I live three hours away. 

*Gets in bath with Grandad and wees*
Grandad - Oi, it's a bath not a piss pot
Me - What you doing?
KP - Food for my mouth.
Mum - Quick Kaine, I need a wee
KP - Get your gary out and go in the bushes, Nanny.
*Gary is what he calls his widge
KP - My not leaving Sarah, my looking after her.
KP - My making you something
Me - What're you making?
KP - Butter.
KP - My not go to Scotland again, it shut.
Me - Guess what I had last night? Salted caramel cheesecake
KP - Aww my love that
Me - You've never had it
KP - So?
KP - Why you naked?
Me - I'm not, I'm wearing a towel
KP - Why you naked?
Me - Love you, bud. Bye
KP - Love you, bye
Me - Bye monkey
KP - Bye monkey
KP - Hello, my naked
Me - Why're you naked?
KP - Putting my jarmies on. You naked?
Me - No mate.
KP - You cut your beard?
Ian - Yes
KP - You cut your hair?
Ian - No, don't you like my hair?
KP - No, get the hairdressers
KP - Ian, what you doing?
Ian - The washing
KP - What for?
Ian - It needs washing
KP - You dirty?
Ian - No, the clothes are
KP - Tell her I'll speak in one sec
Me - Has it been one sec yet?
KP - No, one big sec.
KP - You got me a present?
Me - No, would you like a present?
KP - No thanks.
Me - Can I have a biscuit please?
KP - No
Me - Why?
KP - It's only for big boys and you is too little.
KP - My ring you on my own
Me - Did you? You're so clever, what's my phone number?
KP - 4.
KP - What you doing?
Me - Just sat in bed
KP - You get up right now.
Mum - I love you very much, Kaine
KP - I love you very carefully, Nan.
KP - Sarah, you got your tattoo on?
Me - Yes, I have them all on, bud.
KP - Me making a coffee and reading my letter
Me - Ah, two things you can't do
KP - My can, my Spider-Man.
KP - Sarah, me having a wee on my potty. You watch it.
KP - Sarah, you got a gary?
Me - No
KP - Ian got a gary?
Me - Yes
KP - Why you not got a gary?
Me - Because I'm a girl
KP - Girl's not have gary's?
Mum - Girls have flowers
Me - Oh, bloody hell.
KP - What's that?
Me - My purse
KP - My have some money please?
Me - *gives him 20p*
KP - My need more for my mates
KP - My going to drive a monster truck and you go in the boot
Me - You can't drive
KP - My can drive actually
KP - What's that?
Me - A Toblerone
KP - Aww my love bo-bub-bone.
He's the absolute best and always makes me smile.


  1. Ah love this post, you need to do them more often! Scotland shut and piss pot had me howling!

    Sarah :)
    Saloca in Wonderland

    1. Hahaha I'm so glad. I'm going to try and do one a month! He's so funny x

  2. Awww, this is such an adorable post. I couldn't stop laughing whilst reading it :) Children say the funniest things!

  3. This is SO cute.
    So funny the things little ones say.
    I love this one;
    KP - What's that?
    Me - My purse
    KP - My have some money please?
    Me - *gives him 20p*
    KP - My need more for my mates

  4. I always love to read your toddlerlife tweets, bairns come out with some brilliant stuff!


  5. I love the stuff kids come out with! My boyfriends 3 year old niece constantly comes out with random stuff, mainly along the lines of 'Steven kicked me in the face at the park yesterday but I was brave and told him he was naughty and then Nanny made him go to bed' Steven is my 28 year old boyfriend, didn't see her yesterday & deffo didn't kick her in the face (or get sent to bed) lol. Love your toddler life tweets!

  6. Haha Did Ian get the hairdressers? Hes so adorable
    Beth x


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